Is that Edward Lear, the father of limerick poems, in the corner over there? Why yes, it is, in a contest with Kathleen, the barmaid, and it seems she’s on a roll with a current limerick count of >492. Kindly visit our Site Map for a complete index.

Brain Surgery? Herniated Disc?

The "ologists" ponder and plot
About all the treatments they've got
But those crazed neurosurgeons
Have "cutting up" urgin's
"Prima donnas," are they, the whole lot.

Father's Day Poems or a Tie?

Thanks, Dad, you taught me the rules
Of building a doghouse or stools
I'll be glad to assist
With your project shortlist
(Now that I've filched all your tools.)

Baseball in the Soup

I joined with a fine writer's group
'Til then I was out of the loop
Contribute I must
Baseball's something, I trust
I can stir in their "limerick" soup*© and courtesy of Al Spector

Visit Tax Accountant Irving R. Seinfeld

Net worth is the old bottom line
And for others, I spend all my time
To come up with this number
And sometimes I wonder
Why I'm working on theirs, not on mine?

Years Fly By for the 8th Grade Graduate

So proud of you dear, who'd have guessed
That the years would fly by so? Now rest.
But not for too long
For now you belong
With the high-schoolers, dear, you're the best!

They say Kathleen writes these limerick poems in the wee hours—let us sidle closer and eavesdrop on the banter!

As promised, with the addition of the 70th birthday page, Kathleen is coming closer and closer to that Holy Grail of a limerick for every year between 0 to 100. Here Be Limerick Poems is your source for the most inclusive birthday greetings for every unique age on the Web.

Choose from any of our limerick poems and put it on an apron. Or, does someone you love need a laugh? Whatever it is, say it on a T-shirt, mug, sweatshirt or any one of a wide variety of products

Visit our store for examples!
Contact Us for special requests. We will match the limerick you want to any of the products you like.

Any limerick from this website may be placed upon a T-shirt, sweatshirt, mouse pad, mug—you name it. Many different fun items are available. Say "Happy Birthday" with a smile or make a statement to the world about what is on your mind. If you do not see the limerick you want, we will make it up especially for you.

In honor of Bloomsday , our James Joyce Society "throws the house through the window."

The key to the story of Bloom
Is the Odyssey. You may assume
He yearns to go home
Through the length of the tome
If Blazes would leave his bedroom.

Challenge: Working from Home
Multi-Tasking

The clock ticks, a grim metronome,
Until five, when permission to roam
Is your mate’s for the asking.
Yet you, multi-tasking
Can't leave when you're working from home.

Recently Added Limerick Poems
Wood Worker

The artist who's working in wood
Must be certain her handtools are good
For if those knives be dull
It's certain she'll mull
Over blood spilled for her livelihood.

Slow Drivers in Front?

Do you think they could go any slower?
They refuse to speed up or move over
And it's always grandaddies
With monstrous, huge caddies
So you pull up beside them and glower

Can Kathleen continue limerick poems indefinitely? Kindly Bookmark this site and find out. 500 is the new goal! What shall we do when this website becomes unwieldy? Clues will be given by and by. Moreover, the pub now offers >29 non-limerick poems as New Brews.

Juggler?

A Mom is a wonderful juggler
With small fry in stroller and snuggler.
Shouldn't she ought
Get a handicapped spot
Near the door for her screamer and struggler?

We Love Librarians!

Describe a librarian's day?
Peaceful and quiet, you say?
There is one thing it lacks
Back there in the stacks
And that thing is more decent pay.

Class Reunion

Welcome back to the scene of the crime
Often spent in positions supine
Instead of decrying
Those failures, denying.
Just be glad you escaped with your mind.

Oh my, these original, free, short poems are on many topics. How useful for birthdays, anniversaries, toasts, roasts, office humor, weddings, showers, graduations, get well wishes!…Shall we go for a clickabout?

Challenge: Free Funny Wedding Poems

Love’s Secret

The secret of love is the power
To weather the sweet and the sour
Your joy will not weaken
With love as your beacon
Through sunshine and through thundershower.

Should you find your visit to the pub enjoyable, Kathleen’s current project may interest you, for Literati Limericks will be in hardcopy, illustrated generously, and something you may carry about for those moments when you find yourself in a queue. Molly is aghast at the amount of time which must be frittered in such lines, and appalled that those interstitial moments are so blithely squandered.

Can we show you to a booth? What is your pleasure in limerick poems? The pub has more than one hundred "rooms," each with its own theme, including: frivolity, sentiment, enlightenment and even one with candle light for romance. One may hear the din of hammers and saws after closing hours as building continues.

Here at the pub, we maintain a family environment, and endeavor to keep our rooms clean—very nearly antiseptic, in fact—so the children will not pick up germs or other regrettable attributes.

Perhaps some of our limerick poems may serve for a wedding toast? Mayhaps scribbled inside a greeting card? Our Molly is sometimes a romantic, and invites you to browse our About Us page to view the book, Keepsake Book of Love and Marriage.

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Limerick Blog A limerick a day keeps smiles coming your way. Sample new brews at the pub without the strain of click-abouts.

Limerick poetry is the pub's specialty. Limerick poetry is our specialty, humorous sayings, our goal.

About Here Be Limerick Poems, May We Introduce Ourselves? Funny poetry? Certainly. But about Here Be Limerick Poems, a general introduction is in order.

SBI Limericks SBI enthusiast, Ian, who earns his daily bread as a webmaster using the SBI Site Build It program, and, indeed, extols its praises to the high heavens, offered this limerick.

Sign Up Oye! Oye! Sign up now. Kathleen launches an E-zine at Molly's Virtual Pub!

Funny Birthday Poems Here be funny birthday poems which may serve as birthday toasts, also called over the hill poems for those with a penchant for gallows humor.

Birthday Greeting Happy Birthday to You Copy a birthday greeting inside your card and go the extra mile.

Opposite sex friendship poems and beautiful friendship poems short and long Friendship limericks funny and sentimental for you to use starting with opposite sex friendship poems.

Here Be a Limerick Poem for Work Place Humor Seek the Gentle Humor of a Limerick Poem Whilst You Should Actually Be Working

Free Poems on Retirement for Teachers, Counselors, Office Workers Someone dear is retiring? Should you require some scrap of wit to mark the occasion, here be free poems on retirement. Your friend must be properly feted for decades of loving service to his family an

Sitemap for Here Be Limerick Poems You are here: a Sitemap for Here Be Limerick Poems

Ghost Writing and Other Writing Services For Ghost Writing, Molly (prose) and Kathleen (poetry) are available for your writing needs.

Writing limerick poems is not for the faint of heart. Writing limerick poems is what we are about here in the pub.

Candle Light Romance Poems and other Romantic (or Witty?) Ditties By candle light romance poems or romantic make-up poems will put you in the mood.

Free anniversary poems Choose from a selection of free anniversary poems for 1st, 3rd, 4th, 10th, 50th, The Fives, 60th and other milestone celebrations.

Is the Wrong Job Getting You Down? In the wrong job and you are not looking forward to Mondays?

Bitter Sweet Moments of Life Bitter sweet is our lot. Not everything in life is sun and flowers.

Good Writing Skills Statistics Here be good writing skills statistics and advice on writing from the pub.

Father Of Bride Wedding Toasts Your daughter is getting married? Father of bride wedding toasts that say what you mean.

Civil War Toasts Civil War Toasts, you ask? Here at the pub, we have our serious moments.

Funny Get Well Poems A dear one is ill? Here be funny get well poems to scribble upon a greeting card.

Literati Limericks Introducing Literati Limericks. What do you get if you take the “smut” out of a limerick? A challenge. How can academic subjects be taken with a spoonful of sugar? In limerick form.

Citations Citations Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

Child Funny Poetry and Children’s Verses Read a child funny poetry, rattle off some children’s verses and you will make the wee ones smile.

Teaching Poetry Writing rom time to time, Kathleen feels the urge to climb upon her soapbox and extol the wonders of teaching poetry writing. Today is such a day. Let us hope she does not get a nosebleed .

It is Raining Bridal Showers and Baby Showers Showers are a time of merriment at here-be-limerick-poems. Join us for the frivolity.

Older Than Dirt Ouch! Kathleen's barbs are a bit pointed tonight. Older than dirt is a bit harsh, is it not? Perhaps we need to expand the pub to accommodate "gallows humour?"

Work Humor Toasts and Roasts Free and Funny Use these work humor toasts for gentle humor and work from home humor.

Personalized Poems In a cookie cutter world, personalized poems are a grace note.

Bloomsday In honor of Bloomsday our James Joyce Society throws the house through the window

Graduation Poems from Teachers to Start with and then Meandering Elsewhere From those who love you, graduation poems from teachers and other worthy persons.

Privacy Policy Here Be Limerick Poems Privacy Policy

The Holiday Calendar is Up! Molly tacks up a holiday calendar for pub patron's convenience.